With the recent hoopla surrounding the latest rap “battle” (I use that term very lightly because a tried and tested MC like Common battling an R&B artist with an overtly chivalrous nature like Drake is like holding a candle to the Sun), I wanted to first, highlight one of my favorite battles ever, and two, get the dopeboyz and girlz’s favorite battles. Now let me make a disclaimer before the pro-Drake assault begins: I am a huge fan of Drake’s MC capabilities, as he showcased on Comeback Season, I just simply cannot get down with the singing. Sure, that was a little trite. Whatever.
Moving along here, besides the legendary Boogie Down Productions vs. Juice Crew conflict that went down in the late 80s, another favorite war-of-words between two highly proficient and competent MCs was LL Cool J vs. Kool Moe Dee. The Treacherous Three MC claimed LL bit his rhyme style and took a shot at LL on the cover of How Ya Like Me Now, which showed LL’s trademark Kangol cap being crushed by a Jeep (unlike LL who was fond of pink cookies in a plastic bag being crushed by buildings…) As hard as both artists went, in my personal opinion, I had to hand over the win to Kool Moe Dee just off the album cover and the scathing Let’s Go. So dopeboyz and girlz, what’s your favorite battle on wax, old or new?
Kool Moe Dee – How You Like Me Now
Look, listen and observe. It ain’t hard to tell who those subliminal shots were targeted at in the above video.
LL Cool J – Jack the Ripper
“How Ya Like Me Now?” I’m getting busier I’m double platinum, I’m watching you get dizzier….” “Yo Bob, show that old school sucker punk what real hip hop is boy…”
Kool Moe Dee – Let’s Go
“The boy’s phony as a three-dollar bill and this time I shoot to kill // Just like a sucker you took the bait now you’re like a dead fish on my dish, too late // So party people kick your feet up, I’m about to heat up // You’re hungry for a battle, now it’s time to eat up // Boy, I’m gonna chew you, cos I knew you was // Talkin’ that junk, punk, now Imma do you // The way you should be done, call you my son // Make you say ‘Daddy, I don’t want none’”
“Tryna be me, now LL stands for Lower Level, Lack Lustre // Last Least, Limp Lover // Lousy Lame, Latent Lethargic // Lazy Lemon, Little Logic // Lucky Leech, Liver Lipped //Laborious Louse on a Loser’s Lips // Live in Limbo, Lyrical Lapse // Low Life with the loud raps, boy // You can’t win, huh, I don’t bend // Look what you got yourself in // Just usin’ your name I took those L’s // Hung ‘em on your head and rocked your bells”
LL Cool J – To Da Break of Dawn
“Wouldn’t bite because your rhymes are puppy chow // Made another million, so competators bow // Homeboy, hold on, my rhymes are so strong // Nothing could go wrong, so why do you prolong // Songs that ain’t strong, brother, you’re dead wrong // And got the nerve to have them Star Trek shades on // Ha, you can’t handle the whole weight // Skin needs lotion, teeth need Colgate // Wise up, you little burnt up french fry // I’m that type of guy…”
LL Cool J – Murdergram
Kool Moe Dee – Death Blow